i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
