She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
