the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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