im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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