Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
