At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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