East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Randomize
