So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
