Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Randomize
