My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize