he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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