i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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