Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
