so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Randomize
