I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
im six kinds of drunk right now
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize