Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
