3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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