that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
you traded sex for a burrito?
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Randomize
