I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
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