If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
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