Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
