You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
