She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
