so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize