I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
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