after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
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