Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
