do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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