HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Randomize
