I accidentally had phone sex last night
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Randomize
