Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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