if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Randomize