My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
There r osticjed everywhere
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
