oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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