dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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