There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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