And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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