I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
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