i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
