Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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