Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
