one might say we're banned from that church
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
