We should be called the Road Head Warriors
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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