I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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