i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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