I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
