I'm really into asian looking animals
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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