i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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