I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
