you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Congratulations! We have a period
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