but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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