Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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