if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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