Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
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