I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize