Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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