Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
His hands were made for my vagina.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize