then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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