Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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