so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
