i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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